Thursday, March 02, 2006

Badly formatted email

Probably been posted before, but I've never seen it. If creds are due, someone let me know.


> > You might be a gun nut if...
> > 1. If you've ever dabbed a little Hoppe's on your neck before going on> > a date.> >> > 2. If you bought checkering tools, checkered all your gunstocks and> > are now starting on the bedposts.> >> > 3. If you cannot really recall just how many guns you own.> >> > 4. If surplus ammunition suppliers call you to see if there was> > anything you were looking for.> >> > 5. If you bought a gun from a gun shop, only to realize you owned it> > years ago.> >> > 6. If you've ever "shot out" a 1911 barrel.> >> > 7. If you save brass and have a case tumbler, but don't reload.> >> > 8. If you ever stripped the paint off of your car and then blued it> >> > 9. If you've ever bought ammo for a caliber you didn't shoot, thinking> > that someday you might own a gun in that caliber.> >> > 10. If your computer passwords are gun related...> >> > 11. If your five-year-old can detail strip and fully reassemble an M-1> > Garand.> >> > 12. If you take your guns out of the safe and handle them, just so you> > can wipe them down before going to bed.> >> > 13. If the local gunsmith calls you for obsolete parts.> >> > 14. If you home-school and use ballistic tables for math lessons.> >> > 15. If your gun safe is bigger than your refrigerator.> >> > 16. If the speedometer on your car is in both m.p.h. and f.p.s.> >> > 17. If you call Brownell's and they recognize your voice.> >> > 18. If you own reloading dies for calibers that you do not shoot.> >> > 19. If you understand Smith and Wesson's model numbers.> >> > 20. If you ever bought two different brands of the same bullet just to> > see which one "shot better".> >> > 21. If you've ever had to explain "that it's not the same gun, it's a> > variant!"> >> > 22. If watching the Lion King gives you the itch for a .470 Nitro.> >> > 23. If you cut out your best groups and carry them in your wallet like> > photos.> >> > 24. If you've ever gone to a gun show three times in one month, and> > were excited every time.> >> > 25. If you feel that a golf course is a willful and deliberate misuse> > of a perfectly good rifle range.> >> > 26. If you ever accidentally seasoned a steak with FFFFg black powder.> >> >> > 27. If your brass tumbler used to be a small cement mixers.> >> > 28. If you identify the gun on the cover of Dillon's Blue Press before> > you notice the girl.> >> > 29. If you make $30/hr at work and spent 35 minutes on your knees at> > the range looking for that last piece of 40 brass.> >> > 30. If you have guns in your safes that you can't for the life of you> > remember how you came by.> >> > 31. If the FBI asks you to identify firearms they can't.> >> > 32. If ammo manufacturers had to layoff workers when you went to> > Europe for a month's vacation.> >> > 33. If you know the range of every tree in the neighborhood.> >> > 34. If you can tell the caliber of any spent casing just by feel.> >> > 35. If you plead with the gun shop to hold a rifle/shotgun until you> > have space for it.> >> > 36. If you can't figure out why your non-shooting friends laugh when> > you say "Bushmaster."> >> > 37. If you didn't get that last one because you don't have any> > "non-shooting" friends.> >> > 38. If you driver's license says "must wear night vision goggles."> >> > 39. If your shoulder is callused. (No more Mauser bruises!)> >> > 40. If manufactures ask you how their rifles hold up. (It was a scope> > mfg.)> >> > 41. If you get misty eyed every time you sell a gun.> >> > 42. If you alternate Silvertips, Hydra-Shoks and Black Talons in your> > magazines because they look prettier that way.> >> > 43. If you guess windage and range every time you look at a road sign.> >> >> > 44. If you went out to the range this weekend to shoot up ammo, just> > so you'd have some brass to reload.> >> > 45. If RCBS answers your phone calls, "What have YOU dreamed up this> > time?"> >> > 46. If you can name the parts of your post-ban assault rifle you had> > to swap out to make it legal.> >> > 47. If someone asks about the president and you think they're talking> > about Charlton Heston> >> > 48. If you know the model numbers of your Glocks and Smith & Wessons,> > how many and what size mags you have, but have no idea when your> > wedding anniversary is.> >> > 49. If you've ever had to explain why you need armor piercing rounds> > to someone> >> > 50. If you don't know that there is a difference between "the> > Internet" and "Glock Talk."> >> > 51. If you have ever run out of gas in your car, but have never run> > out of ammo.> >> > 52. If you know the serial numbers of your guns, but still get your> > kids' names mixed up.> >> > 53. If you hold a firearms related record in Guiness book of world> > records.> >> > 54. If you go to gun shows with a grocery buggy (painted camo of> > course.)> >> > 55. If the National Guard calls you when things get a little too hot.> >> > 56. If you had a gun rack on your bike when you were a kid.> >> > 57. If you know why 30-06 is pronounced "thirty aught six."> >> > 58. If you buy all of your clothes at Wal-Mart but own some of the> > most expensive holsters known to man.> >> > 59. If your name is on California's Assault Weapons ban list.> >> > 60. If you walk up on a conversation about horses and as soon as you> > hear "colt", you are immediately interested.> >> > 61. If your favorite saint is John Moses Browning.> >> > 62. If your favorite paint color is "gun metal grey".> >> > 63. If you break off on a dissertation on how badly congress screwed> > Bill Ruger.> >> > 64. If you anticipate another shooting session as you are putting your> > guns away at the range.> >> > 65. If you look at Shotgun News the way teenagers look at Playboy.> >> > 66. If every street sign within 5 miles of your house looks like it> > came from Chechnya.> >> > 67. If you went to college, but owned more gun manuals than text> > books.> >> > 68. If the National Guard armory has your phone number on "call block"> > because you keep making bids on their WWII artillery piece sitting out> > front.> >> > 69. If you carry a backup gun in case the backup for your backup> > fails.> >> > 70. If you carry concealed at the beach.> >> > 71. If third world arms dealers consider you to be the largest gun> > runner in the world (but you keep all the stuff for yourself.)> >> > 72. If you were arrested/questioned about the sniper shootings.> >> > 73. If you've filled out more "yellow forms" than income tax forms.> >> > 74. If you have your own VIP parking spot at gun shows.> >> > 75. If you hear someone say "it's about 9:45" and you think to> > yourself "good grief, the 9mm/.45 debates will never end!"> >> > 76. If you sit through a violent movie and aren't bothered by gory> > violence, but flinch when someone drops a firearm (might scratch it.)> >> > 77. If the above has ever brought tears to your eyes> >> > 78. If you have been banned from a movie theater because you always> > stand up in the middle of the movie and tell everyone you can't fire> > 30 rounds from a revolver without reloading.> >> > 79. If you ever took apart your Nintendo zapper and installed custom> > trigger, laser sight, scope, etc. for the "Duck Hunt" game.> >> > 80. If you have more firearms than friends.> >> > 81. If you have insurance covering your guns, but not you.> >> > 82. If Hillary Clinton makes your skin crawl.> >> > 83. If you slide your paddle holster on to check your mail.> >> > 84. If you slide your paddle holster on to take out the garbage.> >> > 85. If you find yourself rapidly disassembling/re-assembling your> > handgun....in the dark.....on the toilet.> >> > 86. If you drive to work with a $1500 Kimber in a $500 pick-up truck.> >> > 87. If your guns are named names usually reserved for people.> >> > 88. If you designed your own caliber and built a firearm to fire it.> >> > 89. If you grew up with loaded guns all around you, but it never> > crossed your mind to shoot up your school.> >> > 90. If you've read the Constitution.> >> > 91. If you know the Second Amendment by heart.> >> > 92. If you know the Second Amendment translated into more than 3> > languages.> >> > 93. If you used to have a hill as a backstop, but now it has become a> > 30 foot high mound of pure lead.> >> > 94. If you make your own reloading tools.> >> > 95. If you make your own powder.> >> > 96. If you don't label your reloading powder, because you can hear the> > difference when shaking the can.> >> > 97. If you have ever read an article in the crime section of the> > newspaper and read "the suspect had over 200 rounds of ammunition",> > then assumed it was a misprint. Who in his right mind would get down> > to only 200 rounds???> >> > 98. If your CCW is a shotgun. (Working on it!)> >> > 99. If your CCW is a 50 Barrett.> >> > 100. If your CCW is a LAW rocket.> >> > 101. If you find yourself doing trigger and muzzle control on the> > bottle of your wife's glass cleaner.> >> > 102. If your girlfriend/wife is jealous of the time you spend with> > your guns.> >> > 103. If your wish list on Midwayusa totals up to the price of a new> > car. (If that new car would be a Bentley.)> >> > 104. If you're already thinking about your next gun while you're> > filling out the paperwork on the one you're buying.> >> > 105. If the guys at the local gun shop send you a Christmas card.> >> > 106. If you own a gun you haven't shot yet.> >> > 107. If you have a room in your house dedicated to guns.> >> > 108. If when someone says "but what if you don't have a gun with you?"> > and after 15 minutes you still can't comprehend how that would be> > possible.> >> > 109. If the sound of full auto gun fire makes you feel all warm and> > fuzzy.> >> > 110. If you shook the presents under your tree, and one fired a round> > out of it.> >> > 111. If you've spent more money at Midway USA, Brownell's, and> > Cabella's than the companies are worth.> >> > 112. If your will specifies your favorite firearm(s) to be buried with> > you.> >> > 113. If the Glock talk logo is burned into your monitor.> >> > 114. If you have had a friend who thought knives were so cool and> > dangerous, then you showed him your AK-47 collection.> >> > 115. If you wonder why you must renew your CCW license every year but> > your marriage license won't expire.> >> > 116. If someone asks how many guns you have, and the answer begins> > with "about" (i.e. "about 50 or so").> >> > 117. If you took an ink blot test and your answers were things like> > "an AR-15 sear", "bolt release from Ruger 10-22", "firing pin from> > M1911", etc.> >> > 118. If you know you carry 45 caliber 230 grain full metal jacketed> > hydra-shock hollow points from Federal, but don't know the color of> > your wife's eyes. (That is what I have in the Kimber!)> >> > 119. If you have ever shot a hole in something on accident.> >> > 120. If that something was your TV during a Bush/Gore debate.> >> > 121. If you buy Hoppe's solvent in 50 gallon drums because your> > howitzer "likes" it.> >> > 122. If the gun show owners let you in free.> >> > 123. If you named a dog after a gun.> >> > 124. If you name your kids after your guns.> >> > 125. If you time yourself each time you fill out one of those yellow> > forms, and you're down to a minute flat.> >> > 126. If you're only dating/marrying a girl so you can shoot her gun> > collection.> >> > 127. If the wallpaper on your desktop is firearm related.> >> > 128. If the wallpaper in a room of your house is firearm related.> >> > 129. If you have no wallpaper or house, but live in a dug-out> > underground bunker to keep your guns safe.> >> > 130. If CNN does a report on gun control and shows a table of guns> > from a gun show, and one of them has your name engraved on the side.> >> > 131. If you carry pictures of your guns in your wallet.> >> > 132. If you ever heard gun shots outside your house late at night, but> > fell into a state of sheer panic because you couldn't decide which gun> > to grab.> >> > 133. If your favorites in the computer only have one folder, "guns."> >> > 134. When your wife has .357 Sig brass as earrings.> >> > 135. At the Tupperware party you show them your Glock.> >> > 136. Your gold tooth is made from a recycled brass casing.> >> > 137. You get arrested for possession of a gram of black powder.> >> > 138. Your son's middle name is "Glock."> >> > 139. Your kid's bike is on a bipod.> >> > 140. You go out with bird watchers with a 3x9 scope.> >> > 141. Your Walkman is made by Peltor.> >> > 142. Your kids vocabulary consists of words like; "ballistics,> > trajectory, bullet-coefficient and parallax."> >> > 143. Your wife loves to shop at Glockstore, Glockmeister, Topglock> > etc.> >> > 144. You shower the bride and groom with brass.> >> > 145. You double tap when knocking on doors.> >> > 146. You get excited when you see the Target store logo.> >> > 147. You buy your kids a book each and buy yourself five gun> > magazines.> >> > 148. Your tennis attire has Glock, Smith & Wesson, Colt and Ruger> > logos.> >> > 149. Your Golf bag has a gun compartment.> >> > 150. You lubricate your kid's bikes with Breakfree.> >> > 151. Your car is coated with Tennifer.> >> > 152. You light your charcoal with gun powder.> >> > 153. Your kids would rather go to a gun show than Magic Mountain or> > Disney World.> >> > 154. You are the only one wearing a vest without a camera.> >> > 155. If your apartment complex cites -you- as the reason they don't> > need on-site security.> >> > 156. If someone you've never met comes to your door and says, "I was> > given your name. Can you help me while I get my stuff out of my> > boyfriend's/husband's apartment?"> >> > 157. If the person who gave your name is a local Police Officer.> >> > 158. If your local Police Department makes a point of calling you at> > home to tell you about the sex-offender/felon who just moved into your> > area.> >> > 159. If you've been in a local gun shop and had a sales clerk ask you> > a question about a firearm, because no one else in the shop knows the> > answer. (Happened last week! He needed advice on a FAL.)> >> > 160. If the above occurs so they can make a sale.> >> > 161. If one of your local gun shops asks you to come work for them,> > because you've shown more knowledge than their employees.> >> > 162. If the above occurs at a shop you don't normally frequent.> >> > 163. If your local Police Department asks you what you think about the> > new handgun they're thinking about issuing.> >> > 164. If you've ever been asked by your local Police Department to> > bring in one or more of your weapons for them to show off, because> > they're "better than this crap we're carrying."> >> > 165. If you've ever gotten out of a ticket by offering to take the> > Officer shooting. (Talked guns with the cop after the traffic> > hearing.)> >> > 166. If you've ever been pulled over by a Police Officer so she can> > ask you to take her shooting.> >> > 167. If you've ever been pulled over by a local Police Department just> > so they can ask you a question about one of your weapons, or your> > ammunition.> >> > 168. If you've ever had people fly into the state, or country, just to> > fire some of your weapons.> >> > 169. If you've ever talked about your latest acquisition and heard the> > words, "How the hell did you get your hands on that?"> >> > 170. If your name has ever been given to a new recruit at your local> > Police Department along with the words, "Don't bother asking, he's> > going to have a gun on him somewhere."> >> > 171. If your boss has ever given you a box of ammunition as a reward> > for a 'job well done', and you don't work in a firearms friendly> > place.> >> > 172. If you've ever taken the day off work to go shooting, hunting, to> > the gun smith, or to purchase a new handgun, and yet you refuse to> > call in sick.> >> > 173. If your primary requirement for a soft-side briefcase, for work,> > is how well it can carry one of your preferred handguns.> >

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