Saturday, August 13, 2005

Helo shooting

Kirk and several other people have been on my ass to post about the helo shooting that occurred this week in Albuquerque. Some would have you think it was an "alleged" shooting.

While most people have consumed the pap published by the Associated Press and Reuters, the local stories are a bit more specific.

First off, I want to apologize to anyone who I piss off.

Secondly, there are several fine bloggers that have reacted to this like Ariel Sharon and Karl Rove cooked this whole kefuffle up when they met at the last PNAC get-together.

Head, whom I agree with 99% of the the time, seems to think this is a .50 BMG conspiracy. James at Hell in a Hellbasket lends some credence to the .50 BMG thing, but characterizes the incident as thus:

By any reasonable standard, this is a one-in-a-million

First off let me quote the local article, linked to above:

Albuquerque Police Department's helicopter, Air 1, is a
frequent target, but no bullets have ever connected, said Trish Hoffman, an APD
spokeswoman. "Unfortunately, there are people that choose to
do that," Hoffman said of shooting at law enforcement aircraft.

Some people call this sort of thing "blogswarm," but I just call it hysteria.

Obviously it was a relatively small caliber round (i.e. not a BMG.)

For those of you who do not live in New Mexico, let me explain APD tactics. In the past, the lone helicopter the cops have has landed at the Krispy Kreem (sic, like I give a shit) donut shop.

For a further explanation of helicopter tactics, I am going to reference an incident that occurred during my lost years. While attending the second semester of my only year of college, I lived in what is collectively known as "The War Zone." I was flunking out of college and determining whether someone actually could kill themselves with alcohol before the age of 25.

Needless to say, I had roomates. One of which was a real fuck-up. He owned 3 dogs he couldn't take care of and would freak the shit out of me when he came back from his 3-day meth binges. Of course, he was in a band.

So one night the band had a party. There were plenty of women, which was cool, but we only had one head. I stood in line for several minutes and decided that pissing outdoors would be more enjoyable and immensely quicker.

As I was peeing, one of my roomate's untrained dogs decided that it would be fun to jump around in streaming urine. The stupid do was running at my knob like it was a sprinkler on a hot summer day. Being the gentleman I am, I tried to avoid peeing on the dog, which involved all kinds of contortions.

Meanwhile, the Bat-phone was ringing. Someone had committed a heinous crime in the area, and officers were in hot pursuit. As you can imagine, it was probably some shirtless guy running on foot from the cops (There's a reason COPS, the TV show films here so much.)

SOP for the locals is to bring in the helicopter and start painting street after street with the search-light. This particular evening they happened upon me hobbling around a yard with my johnson in my hand, and a dog chasing my piss. This immediately took precedent over whatever savage act of crime that had been performed. I assumed they watched the entire saga while sipping coffee and laughing their asses off. Fair enough.

Point is, that's what local police do; they hover at a low elevation with an obvious light source hanging off the front end of their plane. This in a town where it's not surprising for someone to find their grandmother or kid dead on New Year's Day, because some asshole fired a .30-06 at the sky the night before.

The story also states that the landing took place from 400 FEET (not yards) above the ground. Now if that was the elevation it was hovering at, the realistic range is more like 140 yards with an upward trajectory. Given, it was night-time, but this guy didn't score a 2" group, he shot a giant-ass target at relatively close range.

For the record, whenever you see a news story from Albuquerque that goes national, just ignore it. It just proves what a bunch of incompetent assholes we are.

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