Sunday, November 14, 2004

In case nobody has told you, you're stupid

This red state dummy crap has hit a crescendo. This guy, from the Portland Mercury, is very smart, though; just take his word for it.

This is an extremely long piece, and the author tends to repeat himself over and over and over and over again (did I get that point across?). It would be exhausting for me to do the whole piece and tiresome for any reader. As such, I will cherry-pick.

It's time for the Democrats to face reality: They are the heart of urban America. If the cities elected our president, if urban voters determined the outcome, John F. Kerry would have won by a landslide.

This is an easy opener for me: If "the cities elected our president" we wouldn't have a country by now. McGovern, Carter, Mondale, Dukakis; these people don't end cold wars, they stroke.

Citizens of the Urban Archipelago reject heartland "values" like xenophobia, sexism, racism, and homophobia, as well as the more intolerant strains of Christianity that have taken root in this country. And we are the real Americans

If they're the real Americans, than I'm the real Bill Gates. Do you feel more xenophobic (liberals have to use big words; "fear of strangers") when you are in a small town or NYC?

They--rural, red-state voters, the denizens of the exurbs--are not real Americans. They are rubes, fools, and hate-mongers.

Are you starting to get this gentleman's point? I have been called a hate-monger for many things (my disbelief in affirmative action, owning weapons, thinking women should not be active combat in the military, etc. etc.), but I have never been referred to this based on the geographic location of my home or the precint I vote in.

Again, look at the blue spots in red states like Iowa, Colorado, and New Mexico--there's almost as much blue in those states as there is in Oregon, Washington, and California

There are 3 to four solid blue counties in New Mexico (as of last count.) These would be Santa Fe, McKinley, Rio Arriba, and San Miguel. Two of these counties are completely fraudulent. I do work in Santa Fe and there is a lot of young, stupid, "urban" people who would rather fly a UN flag from their antenna than a US flag. And they are not driving Hybrids. As to the western county/ies, that is a reservation. Nuff said.

We're everywhere any sane person wants to be. Let them have the shitholes, the Oklahomas, Wyomings, and Alabamas. We'll take Manhattan

I'm a resident of New Mexico. I lived in Poughkeepsie, NY for 8 months. Probably the worst 8 months of my life, except for the fact that women out there will...well nevermind. Leave it at this: I agree Manhattan is not a fundamentalist Christian stronghold. Crime there was higher than anywhere I ever lived. There were more homeless people.

So I decided to move back west, to the "shithole" I live in. Well fuck you elitist coastal types. I've seen your enviroment, but you've never seen mine.

While in NY, I worked as a line cook. This didn't exactly get me into celebrity parties or anything, but most of the people I worked with had never been out of the metro area. The 10% that had, had gone to Florida. These people don't even know what the United States looks like.

To red-state voters, to the rural voters, residents of small, dying towns, and soulless sprawling exburbs, we'll say this: Fuck off. Your issues are no longer our issues. We're going to battle our bleeding-heart instincts and ignore pangs of misplaced empathy. We will no longer concern ourselves with a health care crisis that disproportionately impacts rural areas. Instead we will work toward winning health care one blue state at a time

Your issues can be your issues, but take note: you lost. Let me say it again. YOU LOST. So it is you who can fuck off, my friend.

Wal-Mart is a rapacious corporation that pays sub-poverty-level wages, offers health benefits to its employees that are so expensive few can afford them, and destroys small towns and rural jobs. Liberals in big cities who have never seen the inside of a Wal-Mart spend a lot of time worrying about the impact Wal-Mart is having on the heartland. No more. We will do what we can to keep Wal-Mart out of our cities and, if at all possible, out of our states. We will pass laws mandating a living wage for full-time work, upping the minimum wage for part-time work, and requiring large corporations to either offer health benefits or pay into state- or city-run funds to provide health care for uninsured workers. That will reform Wal-Mart in our blue cities and states or, better yet, keep Wal-Mart out entirely. And when we see something on the front page of the national section of The New York Times about the damage Wal-Mart is doing to the heartland, we will turn the page. Wal-Mart is not an urban issue.

Yeah, Wal-Mart sucks. Unless I want to buy some cheap Winchester White-Box or maybe a good gift for one my friend's kid's. But I'm convinced; the government should seize Wal-Mart, ensure a living wage, give healthcare benefits, and force them into "blue states" that will rape them of profits. Problem solved.

Neither is gun control. Our new position: We'll fight to keep guns off the streets of our cities but the more guns laying around out there in the heartland, the better. Most cities have strong gun-control laws--laws that are, of course, undermined by the fact that our cities aren't walled. Yet. But why should liberals in cities fund organizations that attempt to get trigger locks onto the handguns of NRA members and Bush supporters? If red-state dads aren't concerned enough about their own children to put trigger locks on their own guns, it's not our problem. If a kid in a red state finds his daddy's handgun and blows his head off, we'll feel terrible (we're like that), but we'll try to look on the bright side: At least he won't grow up to vote like his dad.

This is the real gem from this coastal genius. None of us out here give a crap about our kids, it's all about the guns.

I don't know how many safety arguments I have seen from blog to blog to blog. Most of my fellow gun owners have kids; I don't. Therefore, I don't have all the safety bells and whistles most parents do. This guy, though, is basically saying we should shoot our children to cleanse the gene pool of any kind of pro-2A strain that might make into the next generation.

And when you look for ways to revive your failing towns and dying rural counties, don't even think about tourism. Who wants to go to small-town America now? You people scare us. We'll island-hop from now on, thank you, spending our time and our money in blue cities. You can starve out there in red America for all we care. Hell, we already give you enough money anyway, you big government leeches. Although you like to complain about "tax-and-spend liberals," guess where that big-government money gets spent: North Dakota, New Mexico, Mississippi, Alaska, West Virginia, Montana, Alabama, South Dakota, Arkansas. These red states top the list of federal spending per dollar of federal taxes paid. And who's paying the most? That's right, you government-handout parasites: blue states. New Jersey, Connecticut, Illinois, Massachusetts, California, New York, Minnesota. We pay the most and receive the least

OK, you obnoxious piss-ant. We are the states that provide agriculture, ore, lumber, etc. I live in a state where a missle range takes up almost a tenth of the whole state. If you sophisticated Manhattan people want a missle range next door, I'm sure you'd get some more pork.

My state has Los Alamos Labs, which is run by the UCLA (that's California, BTW), but they sure as shit don't want the Technical sites in their state do they?

A third of my state is Indian Reservations. Well there is a liberal cause if I ever saw one, even though I doubt any Democrat in Washington or the dim bulb who wrote this article has ever been on a reservation.

This guy is an ass. And I would like to put to bed the "moral issues" notion. Exit polls don't work. And while half the media was reporting that GW was getting his ass whipped by Kerry, the results were the opposite. So now, we have stories, based on the same faulty exit polls, saying that most people voted on Gay Marriage. Bullshit.

If they were wrong about the vote, they were wrong about the issues. It's all about killing more, and faster war.

Well, the plus side is...

1. We've made a flaming liberal very unhappy. What's not to like? Welcome to Red State angst ala 1996 dude...

2. He's promised to leave us alone. Hell, he's going to encourage gun ownership and use. Among us, anyway. Also good. And the exurbs will continue to grow - as his cities decay because people don't want to live there anymore.

3. The only thing he forgot to do was drop his interest in our tax money...
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